I've always been small in stature. I'm now going to use many of the words that have been used to describe my frame: short, thin, skinny, slender, scrawny, wiry. And when my family visited for the past four or five days, I felt even shorter: so far, along with my parents, three of my siblings-they're all younger- have passed me in height. We're all thin, and it never takes any effort for any of us.

But I see solid shape changes in my future. I hope I'll just get a pillow under my shirt, and nothing else will change, but my butt could grow, my feet could get larger, my shoulders broader, my thighs wider. My heart will get larger as well, to accommodate for one more small thing.

It arrives in October or November. My first discovery appointment was yesterday, and my mom was all smiles the entire time. A succession of appointments will yield more discoveries, including a firmer expectation date and a very quick heartbeat in a strange place. I've spent the last four days hearing shrieks of delight and seeing eyes widen in joy from relatives close and distant. Now comes a mass accumulation of preparation--of stuff, of resources, of mental readiness.

I've been readying for this for as long as I can remember. But nobody can tell me that I'm not entitled to be nervous.
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